I'm Baaaaaaccckkkk!

So, I've been on a one year hiatus- focusing on life, but jotting down thoughts as I strolled along. I've definitely learned a few life lessons within this time so hopefully, you too, can read & feel where these thoughts are coming from. I write to vent, but more so to heal. Some of my thoughts are incomplete, some chapters have plenty of cliff notes, lol, but I've met numerous crossroads only to find myself met amongst people who love me. & that my friends, is what life is about. So although many of my thoughts are angry, many more are full with love. Either way, my writings are who I am, what I'm inspired by, and who I'm trying to be. I'll be vying for one entry a week, so tune in! Thank you for your continued support!

Xoxo,
SASH.

  Throwback of the Week

Michel'le - "Something In My Heart" 

circa: 1991



Guilty Pleasure

So much to say, yet so little has come out
Confined in this small space,
too fed up to figure it out.
But I shout at the top of my lungs until my outside voice begins to fade-
It wasn't suppose to end up this way.

I'm jaded to the point where I'm blinded by the truth,
this type of behavior is so uncouth
I'm fucking tired of the curiosity, bored with all these lames-
It wasn't suppose to end up this way.

Her words are like butter and her touch feels of silk-
body like a coke bottle, her skin favors chocolate milk.
These thoughts are stabbing me from every angle;
a pleasurable pain with an undying need
and I take heed of all of these thoughts
wishing this slow process would gain speed.

Am I or am I not?
I need convincing for this newly taken flight
and as much as I say no,
I hold on to her womanhood with all of my might.
What a delight!
Companionship without the fights-
I know her worth, she knows of mine.
And i'm convinced. . .
that it's suppose to end up this way.

-RecklessStill2011

[Throwback] of the Week!

Jade "One Woman Man"

circa 1993

Assumptions

Writer's Note: I wrote this poem awhiiiiiile ago for a friend who was going through a certain situation_ circa 2005. It's funny because they are still very much together!

Wow, i've matured a lot with my writing, but it's still the same message: When you assume you [make an ass out of yourself and me.]

Niggas constantly think, that they could disrespect a chick
9 out of 10 that's the reason they couldn't keep a bitch.
They talk about how much they care
and for you- 'this & that'
but from the start you labeled me as them girls from your past.
You never wanted to be my man, never wanted to commit
and the minute I pack my shit it's, 'fuck you, you stupid bitch'.
But no matter what you had thought of me
and the secrets you thought i'd kept-
I stayed 100% with you, I never wanted to be like them.
I tried to hold you down and ride out until the end,
but all of our tears aren't worth this-
thanks for caring. . . or so you said.
You told me that everyone knew of my name,
but a thirsty bitch is still up in your face claiming your name.
I wake up every morning to seeing your face
and still you wanna assume and call me fake.
Fake? Are you serious?
Why you still even deal with me?
You a real nigga, right?
Well real niggas deal with real pussy.
And all this time you claiming you ain't the average nigga,
but it takes something like this to tell me how you really feel, nigga?
I don't ever want to leave you,
I don't want anyone else's heart!
What ever made me think that you would've mended my broken heart?
I needed you to need me, I wanted you to love
I thought you cared for me more than 'them'?
I thought I was number 1?
Well damn, I guess I was assuming, I guess this was all a dream. . .
I never wanted to wake up from you,

but Love isn't always what it seems.

-RecklessStill2011

Ms. UnWorthy You Are.

Guaranteed wife material
A rare breed is what he created
While my smile flies off the shelves,
your tactics are clearly outdated.
My pump hits the ground and the Red Sea that once was parts again;
Pussy so sweet the devil himself proclaimed it a national sin.
I win.

You strut with insecurity and speak aloud to hinder your true self,
lipstick smears on collars of shirts
dampness of tears, begging him not to go-
& you represent today's WOMAN?
Your hoe'ish demeanor will give you the materials in which you desire-
my heart beats to the sound of his baritone and together we're inspired.
Conversations of our future fill the walls of our domain
while UnWorthy sits at home alone, depressed, disgusted, ashamed.
I win.

& although who you are made me everything I am
I could give a damn about your brokenheart homewrecker-
you knew he was my man.
So this is for all the 'wifeys'
dedicated, forgiving, and true-
be careful putting your trust in someone,
who doesn't have respect for you.

-recklessstill.2011

Know Your Position!



I use to be one of those women who always wanted to make herself known in a relationship. Known to other women, that is. You know- young, dumb, & ready to knock a bitch out. The thirst coming off these broads nowadays are ridiculous, smh. This is the age of social networking, tablets, bbm's, computerized voicemails [yes, you can have a totally different number/ voicemail on your pc rather than an actual phone]. & you would think that a 'woman' would respect the fact that you are listed as 'Wifey' in all of the above.

0_o NOT.

I have become victim to, 'Why is this bitch calling you 'boo' on your facebook' to the 'it's 10pm, why's your friend calling you so late?' It got to the point where I realized these GIRLS lack morals. I know where I stand and WHO I am. The AUDACITY of me to question those things. A woman's love for her significant other goes beyond petty fights, checking phone bills, snooping through emails, etc. When you have substance, a brick FOUNDATION, nothing nor no one could ever discredit what you've built. It's pure;- genuine. This is what woman need to get back to- KNOWING YOUR POSITION. Be that woman who is secure & confident- sleek, but knowing. A woman is so caught up in assuming wrong doings of the man she LOVES, that she allows others to decide her fate. We, (as in women who believe in  Monogamy),have to keep up the momentum of long, lengthy, healthy relationships!!! What happened to courtship, developing love, marriage, and family? Let's understand this gift that God's given us- the gift of nourishment. Believe in forever, and it will be.

"Postulated that monogamy, as an institutional union of two persons being in love for one another, is an embodiment of ethical personalistic norm. That norm requires treating a person in a manner appropriate to his or her essential nature. Only monogamous marriage can create adequate context to fulfill it - i.e. to make possible truly human love between two persons.

^-Karol Wojtyła in his book "Love and Responsibility"

-recklessstill.2011

[Throwback] of the Week!

Whitney Houston "I'm Your Baby Tonight"

circa: 1989

Soul Defiant

Love yourself first, everything else comes second.

Concrete decisions, never second guessing.

Stressing or denying, are they telling the truth or are they lieing?

I'm comfortable with me, I have Soul Defiance.

I power walk through struggle,

Jogging steadily through pride;

Sprinting towards my future

in which my new becoming resides.

Brick winds against all of my sins,

but in the end who really wins?

Soul strong enough to deplete unhappiness

in which they beg to differ-

for they have no life and I have no tolerance for the unlively.

Voodoo doll replicas are created to slay

my significance, my truth, my love, my today.

My soul belongs in bottles sold to those who lack character. . .

then again you could never be me, why bother?

When conversations exist, my mouth bleeds substance

& you're lost. A hopeless cause. Why do you pretend to listen?

Chin so high like stoners at 4:20.

Colors too vibrant for your RayBans.

I'm Soul Defiant. 

You. Can't. Break. Me.

-RecklessStill.2011

[Throwback] of the Week!

TLC "Ain't To Proud to Beg"

circa 1991 

No Subliminals

                                          

[the thoughts of LOVE broken] :

"Uncertainty still; after all of these years

broken faucet leaks as do my tears.

Am I broken? Or just plain fed up?

time took notice to the broken hand in my watch.

BUT I LOVE HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING!

This feeling has to stop!"

[lesson 101]

Take the time to taste before you shove it down your throat

don't tend to get obese on love;

(this is the time you start taking notes)

Feel your way to the core of his break

enter through grapevines, try and clip the thorns

a beautiful disaster willing to be reborn

Stay secured for a little while, seep throughout his being

No harm needed repeated, so much has been done

You can see him miles away, but feel him inches deep

He got you sayin, "Oh my god, what have you done to me?"

Life is obstacles; some in shackles, most in lace

stand still so that he may concentrate. . . Exhale.

You can cause damage together in the presense of them

They can take it how they want to, but seeing is believing to him

And it's him who you serve, tied up against your will

& 'THEY' is so subliminal, so fuck a Jack & Jill.

Fuck a Bonnie & Clyde, ride out like Mickey & Mallory

and no, this isn't a typo; zero fallacies committed.

I'm wit' it, if you're wit' it.

-RecklessStill.2011

[Throwback] of the Week!

After 7 "Ready or Not"

circa 1989

[Flashing Lights]

Living black and grey,

but painting her life in neon's;

it's a must she puts up this front

in order for others not to prey upon.

Words being made up in her brain,

yet flows through her mouth without a thought-

she makes things better than they may seem,

giving no chance for her reality to erupt.

Utter destruction kills her slowly,

maybe if she believes in happiness it shall be-

but if she continues to shelter her unconscious sinner

no one will ever again believe.

Does she even bleed? Or spew purity?

Will this girl cry wolf again?

Can she nurture the fact she lives with 'black'

and 'neon's' are imaginary friends?

She walks amongst concrete

truth hidden, lies exposed

as if she lives multiple lives,

before I was blinded by the brightness of her neon's

now I can see through her disguise.

OPEN YOUR EYES AND LET HONESTY RESIDE.

-RecklessStill.2011

MY NEW TATT! (#4)

& yes, it hurt like a bitch. Wouldn't recommend getting a tattoo there AT ALL.

But it's definitely worth it <3

Just Maybe...



Can I have you for the day?

Until day becomes night,

letting our parachutes expand as we jump planes in elevated flight.

THIS IS OUR TIME.

no pocket watch,

or second guessing who's mine.

My step has became more anxious

as our souls connect & intertwine.

Coloring outside the lines;

pink grounds, purple skies.

Our eyes surpass past lies

learning and growing

yearning to subside.

SHE IS I.

soaking in the misty brown pools of your eyes

In love or lust, pain or triumph

either way I'm hypnotized.

I AM YOURS. YOU ARE MINE.

-RecklessStill.2011

Throwback Wednesday's!!

Method Man "Judgement Day"

circa 1998

Paper Thin.



Upscale your mind and throw your immature ways out the window.

You are comfortable living on your pedestal, yet drunk in your existence.

Your life will suffer if you never choose to hinder your faults.

But truth will reveal the real you, so what are you so afraid of?

Beneath your cocky and confident exterior

Is an individual who lacks morals, motives- far from superior.

You are not who you set out to be.

I can't nourish you;

 but I'll forgive you.

Your circle continues to feed the beast; I for one am not amused.

In all it’s glory, you lack in couth.

I feel for you, but ahead of this nonexistent truth.

Refusing to be apart of this plastic link, I break free.

I secure my own clasp.

Recharge your battery pack, screw your head on tight

Walk with a mission, step as if in flight.

The sooner you’d realize you’re worth more than what you’ve become.

Is the day you can consider me a friend.

Upscale your mind and throw your immature ways out the window.

-RecklessStill.2011

Throwback Wednesday's!!

Monica featuring Treach
 "Ain't Nobody"

Nutty Professor Soundtrack

circa 1996

EXPOSED.

I write to express; spreading my lips to speak

Pen to paper- some exposed, some bleak.

Freak of nature, cousin of sincerity

Sister of reckless behavior, mother of gentility.

Raw in it’s flesh, sugar through my veins

Spicy walk amongst Boston blocks that a certain man deems to tame.

Fuck a lame- I despise the envious,

Does my character displease?

Jaw dropping, neck breaking demeanor

Reckless sexy with ease… feel me?

I am SHE, woman of all trades

Tongue sharp like blades, reminiscent of high top fades.

I conquer territories with authority;

Something like a vivid love scene in HD

WATCH ME- FUCK T.V.

I’m me- forget who you perceive me to be.

I’m me- forget who you perceive me to be.

Reckless still, ask about me.

-RecklessStill.2011



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-Reckless_Still.